i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
