come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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