why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
