Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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