Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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