He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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