If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
