Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
