honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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