She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
