i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
