My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
