Heybabeimwearingurpanties
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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