I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
