i think my tv is drunk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize