Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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