Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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