best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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