Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
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My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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