4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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