Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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