You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
