you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
