So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
