thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
where are my eyebrows?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
