VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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