Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
