The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
