I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
