how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
