I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think im going to throw up on grandma
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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