So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
