If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
