i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
