Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Rumble strips road head = magical
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
