I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
