Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
