Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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