Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
