Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
