he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
