saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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