i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
