if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
the raccoons are back...
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