I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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