I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize