You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
