Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize