It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
