This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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