Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
