Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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