If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
