Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so let's talk penis.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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