I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
