would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
