butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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