return my video game
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize