Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
