And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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