I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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